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L]. not funny ť cinderella

Cinderella 99 page 2

SCENE 2 - Cindy's House

[Cindy is cooking. April is reading a magz. May is filing her nails.]

April:	Yo, Cindy! Hurry up with the food!
Cindy:	Hey, don't I get any help from anyone?
May:	I'm busy.

[June comes onstage holding a dress]

June:	April, May, do I look fat in this?
April:	[puts down her magz] What's going on, June?
June:	Haven't you heard? The disco event tonight! Prince Chink will be showing up! Every gorgeous babe is to be there and whoever wins his heart gets to marry him!
Apr/May/Jun:	[Squealing and stamping their feet with glee] AAAAHHHH!!!!
April:	Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get busy! Cindy, clean up the mess and prepare dinner.
Narrator:	So Cindy prepared her specialty homemade burgers while the the three sisters went to their rooms to dress up for the night. [April steps to the front] April went to her dressing table and squirted perfume in her hair, neck, wrists, armpits, and in the atmosphere. [she does all that, sprays into the air, and then walks trough it with sheer ecstasy] May started painting her long, long nails. [April steps back, May steps to the front and paints] June helplessly tried to decide between two outfits. [May steps back, June steps to the front holding some clothes]
June:	Decisions, decisions, decisions.
April:	[smiling, eyes closed] OOOHHH...Would you just SMELL THAT???

[April, May and June go offstage to change into fine clothes]

Narrator:	Cindy was just getting done with dinner. The three bitches emerged all dressed up, and they sat their asses at the dining table. [April and June sprint to the table to reserve their seats, and turns up their noses at each other when they have seated. May catwalks to the table and sits.]
April:	Man I'm hungry!
June:	[banging her fists on the table] Cindy, fasterlah!
Apr/May/Jun:	[they all bang in unison, chanting...] Faster! Faster! Faster!
Cindy:	[Handing over their dishes] Here you go, crocodiles.
May:	Hey! This is NOT a salad burger! [they turn/whip their heads to stare at her]
Cindy:	Oh, now she tells me.
May:	I told you AGES ago, i'm on a diet!
Cindy:	I thought so, until I caught you feasting on the sausages last Thursday.
May:	[Silent, mouth agape...]
June:	[Bitching in] Yeah, you know what, May? You're pathetic.
May:	[Stands up] How could you!! Oh!...I won't take any more of this. [catwalks offstage]
Cindy:	Look what you just did!
June:	Hwat? Me? It's your fault! Why me? What is it with you people... as if I THRIVE on disasters!
April:	[Bitching in as well] Like that zit on your nose.
June:	[Covers her nose] Aarghh!! You saw it! It's still visible! Gotta go fix it...

[June stumbles to the dressing table at other side of the stage, and then (facing the audience) tries to squeeze the zit out. Meanwhile...]

April:	Now look what you've done!
Cindy:	Me? What did I do?
April:	Because of this, you are SO NOT coming to the disco with us! [Shouts to her sisters] Hey girls, come out and eat up! Cindy's grounded, so quit hiding!
Cindy:	Hey, you can't ground me! You're my big sista for goodness, GOODNESS sake! This is SO NOT FAIR!! [April ignores]
April:	[May and June trot out back to the table] Feeling better?
May:	[Grinning wickedly at Cindy] Yup.
June:	[Whining as she points to her nose] April, can you still see it???
April:	Shut up you paranoid crybaby, and kill this burger now! [handing her the goodie]
Narrator:	The sucked up sisters ate together merrily while Cindy sat in a corner munching on her double-cheese meal. And when they were finally stuffed...
June:	UURRRPPP [burp] 'scuse me.
May:	BLEEAAHHH [belch] Er, ahem.
April:	Okay, girls. [Wiping her mouth furiously] We are so gone. [They get moving offstage. May takes an extra burger with her.]
Narrator:	...and the stepsisters departed for the disco, leaving poor Cindy to clean up the messy aftermath of the dinner.

updated 10 Feb 2001
created 26 Sept 1999
L]. ť Not Funny ť Cinderella 99 2/6